Monthly Archives: May 2015

More Quotes Tonight from Two Feminine Forces..

Neither of which I had intended to see this last Friday – but I was much better off at night’s end – as can always be with the healing power of the feminine.

After having spent a brief evening at work which had been followed from seeing my daughter excel at her middle school track and field finals – I was allowed a few blessed moments with my beloved friend to talk. Our openness in being able to be who we are in our mutual company is beautiful – but can make for my own suffering unlike what I have described, even here. She is falling into a love from which we may not see her return (to parallel a famous similar quote most have heard a few dozen times), and she has asked for space of which I will abide…but in these weeks I am sure it will be obvious to those that look upon my face if not hidden behind my camera.

To start this night of quotes, she finally summarized why we are where we are with “We are a match, just not the right match”. I believe that to have finally helped me understand through all of this loss, with me never wavering on wanting to be with her these last five years and just never quite getting that sense into my head. I also thrive in the trust we have in knowing neither of us would do anything to endanger her finding a new beloved. And as has been the norm for me, even just being in her presence for a few moments calms all of my senses and I can be serene for a bit.

Setting upon my night with that ominous feeling of quietness and not being able to see the three souls who are my emotional world – made me think to stop at Joe’s just for the background noise. Here is how the new streetlights look from there..

I always look from outside to see if the sweltering dysfunction of booze, bad smells and music is worth the effort, but I did spy a situation befalling a recent widower whom I have known for years as some random dude was working his “magic”. I have only talked with her once since the recent loss of her beloved but I sat down right next to her as to help lessen the blow of rejection for this guy attempting his 5th or 6th line on her – which leads me to remember how quick-witted and self-sustaining this lady is.

Him: Do you smoke? Her: I am trying to quit. Him: Do you want to come outside and have a smoke with me? Her: No. Him: But I don’t want to go smoke by myself. Her (without skipping a breath): Then you should probably quit smoking.

I vehemently do not support nor believe in the comparison ideology that some have imparted upon me of late (ie: it could be worse, at least you’re not going thru that, etc..) – I believe each person’s suffering has the meaning and strength that it does for their own reasons, so please try not to sell those words upon someone you might be consoling with whatever grieves them. Why I bring it up is that when she and I talk, we have both lost our beloveds but in a much more drastic variation…though it does help with perspective in seeing her strength. Her advice to me was quite simple this evening: “…one foot in front of the other, because you don’t have a fucking choice…” Right then I looked upon this omen glaring back at me..

That did help in a way I had not thought of prior, and maybe it will enlighten one or two of those readers experiencing their own sadness. I realized I have already been doing that very action every day, I just was not acknowledging it to myself. I knew her husband as we are all roughly the same age and he was one amazing extroverted personality that had frequented my store. I miss seeing that guy…

I had my big lens on the camera but still took a few close-quarter shots to share and the facebook followers appeared to appreciate them. Her other sharing that evening helped me feel stronger about my self-loathe themes and recovery modes, but the contrast of seeing my beloved friend followed by someone who will never see hers again – gave me the continued will to make sure I tell whomever has my heart, how much they make the world’s fire more kindled and ferocious with their very presence and life force. Look up from your screen right now if you can and tell that partner/beloved/friend/family person that their soul is the light we seek in ourselves…if that makes any sense.

Maybe this bucket sitting near my feet was trying to tell me how much wealth was right in front of me and that I needed to just open my eyes…thank you ladies for another inspiring night.

Redwood Sandwich in Scotts Valley (SLV Residents though)

This new sandwich shop in a town where several chains already dot the landscape has found their latest loyal customer…and in the simplest of fashions: by serving great food at affordable prices and by doing the grunt work themselves. Ben and family have set up digs in the Camp Evers complex facing Scotts Valley Drive and Mt Hermon Road.
The menu has the basics covering the spectrum of healthy and fan favorites with just-right-sized sides and kids offerings.
The decor is uncomplicated with a natural wood motiv, flat screen and canvas hangings and lights.
The wood burning fireplace/oven adds just the right feel for those wanting some authentic flavor on some of their meats.
Ben and his wife used to operate a bagel shop in San Francisco for years, but decided to venture out on their own; buying a home in the SLV and starting from scratch a business in Scotts Valley going against the most recognized names in the business. Terrifying I am sure, as I remember my days starting the movie store, but those years were some of the best I will ever have helping the crowds share my passion, and I see that look on their faces here of being right they want to be…

I have tried several sandwiches and salads and am very satisfied with portions, flavors, ideas and hospitality. I could gush further about this place but if you see my truck in that lot, you will know why.

A Valley History of One Dude That I Think More Should Know About…

There is this dude I have been acquainted with since 1986, and since this dude has become well-known these last 30 years in the SLV – I figured it was time someone account for some backstory about him (and undeservedly me)…and since history seems to be a thing with me and my writings here and elsewhere – here goes. “Dude” works for this story because that is what we called each other, plus – it was the 80s and Sean Penn’s Spicoli had made the word mainstream long before Jeff Bridges did.

I was this lowly scrawny freshman trying to survive his obligatory semester of weight training at SLV. And in this same class was this tough, outspoken, obligatory lift-this-weight-NOW-or-regret-it strong sophomore that could pass for a senior. For some reason this dude took me on as a personal project to try and help me on my path of looking more like a muscular man instead of the twig that was walking through the weight room door. In retrospect though, I think Coach Hansen – yes the SLV legend – assigned him to fix this glowing example of missing masculinity. Now two things could strike anyone watching from the proverbial spectator seats of this months-long spectacle; 1. I looked like the wind could break me in half and, 2. Being a freshman in the 80s was truly encapsulated in every John Hughes masterpiece, and I was undoubtedly the geek character. SLV still had a smoking and chewing section that was undisputedly the grossest place on Earth – sufficed to say I was not welcome in that cool kid area. But the weight room was where everyone was allowed to be together…figures.

Over the course of those months and finally into the home stretch of wishing June had arrived 3,400 pounds of weights earlier, this older soul found numerous ways to motivate me. He did it without ever forwarding condescension or being mean though, so much so that even with my changing young brain I could see something special in how this person interacted with others, and how easy it appeared for him to lead someone down the right path. I actually looked and felt better about myself, and I can imagine a great deal of you can understand how difficult that was to achieve in high school. You can probably guess which one I am here….



Fast-forward some years past high school and college; into my now burgeoning career within the fire service for Boulder Creek. I made it a path of mine to attend every possible incident and to become quite comfortable with patient care on medicals. One particular evening a call came out at the golf course of a lady in need of emergency care, and I was the primary patient person that evening. Little did I know this particular lady was also a medical professional that knew more than I ever would about patient care. Also unbeknownst to me was that she was a beloved relative of this dude I have been writing about. Very rarely do emergency care providers in the field get feedback regarding their skills afterwards, but this dude tracked me down some time later and relayed some things that needed to be said about my care of her. To this day and through my 20 years of service, I don’t think anyone has summarized a more professional breakdown of how well and proper my care was of her. It felt like one of those moments in a mob movie when the made guy tells our protagonist that he gets a free pass whenever he needs it – no questions. But in this case, one dude was telling another dude thank you with such sincerity and depth that only those two living it – can actually understand.

Fast forward a few more years and this dude becomes a manager at a local non-profit center, fulfilling a work ethic and leadership style that had manifested long before. Seventeen years later, his tough exterior carried an undoubtedly trying career of proving his worth, both personally and professionally into what would become. As our kids grew up attending Boulder Creek Elementary together we would sometimes sit by those big redwoods and talk of life and such; all while waiting for the next generation to run up to us after the bell and remind us that we are “old”.

This year he then tackled one more hurdle of vying for the big position in the company as to help guide and direct one of the most well-known community organizations into the next decade for the SLV – and he got it! All the while, when I would visit his center to drop off recycling, we would talk as if the years had never passed and that even though we both had families and those years of life between us – he still treated me like a real friend. I even tried to take some quality pics of him playing music various times in the SLV, but he married into a family that has a much better photographer than me – so he is covered there. And even in my suffering of late to such depths, he still shakes my hand and says we can talk about whatever it is and make it better. Even though I will never bother him with my stuff, he has proven to me, from that first day of walking through the weight room door to this most recent moment of walking into his center – the SLV has one hell of a good man running things…just thought you should know.

Matt Harris is that dude, the Valley Women’s Club is who he works for, and for 30 years he has fought the good fight and deserves all of the rewards that will continue his way…thanks Matt.